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Sandra Stories from Her Clan

What a Great Shining Light - Victoria Schwarz

What a great shining light, this Being called Sandra, who once graced us with her presence and now graces the whole of infinity with her amazing bright light!  I often used to write to her and thank her for spinning on this planet the same time as I.  She is a teacher and an inspiration. What strength, courage and beauty inside that little frame! She was a manifestation for us of what courage means. I am happy to know her beauty has been polished even more now; I have an image of her energy as a sun-like sphere, pulsating.

Another name that I associate to my most amazing friend is, pixie.  She was this happy little imp, be-bopping around in this world. She was content to just be able to cause a little bit of mischief. When checking in with her after a particularly rough period, she was always quick to say something like, “Yeh, it was a little difficult, but I still had enough in me to cause a little trouble.”

As the Light Being that she was, she just wanted to play. Ah! When I saw her, I wanted to play too.  She made me laugh, and simultaneously, we drew each other into conversations that were about things important to us.  Seeing her was always a gift for me.
How lucky for the subtle energy of the entire Universe that she is now with us all.  In the whispering of the Universe her voice will be there.  I just have to listen to hear.  I just have to expect to hear and I will hear.  I welcome the whisperings of your transformed self, Sandra!
Alleluia, Sist’a!

Sandra and I spoke of her death, our death, many times.  We spoke of it (mostly) not as a scary thing, but as an amazingly profound event in one’s life, perhaps even more profound than birth. I told her I thought about death as “changing jobs”.  I told her, think about it, do you really want to be “up there” playing a harp, or something like that?!  No!  That’s not for me!  I want to go to my Spirit’s next best level with the advantage of the ego out of the way.  I said I thought about it like “changing jobs”, getting a promotion.  As first she didn’t get it, but then she did and it altered our conversations a lot.  We began to talk about death as a happy, freeing event in which Spirit could “strut its stuff”!

She spoke often of her nurses.  She loved them.  She spoke often of her doctors who gave so much of themselves.  She spoke of her family, both her own and Hernan’s, who just supported her, no matter what.

Through the ups and downs of her path, I often asked about Hernan, how he was doing.  Always, always, there was just one answer about her great partner, “He is my Rock!” On this point she was always very clear. If, Hernan, you ever doubt, ever question who you were to Sandra, just remember this.  As I write this, it seems like a message from her.

A little story:  One day, while I was living is the big house in San Antonio (de Escazu) there was the ox-cart parade.  Sandra and I did not know about this when we set a massage appointment.  Sandra phoned me and said she was having a little trouble getting through to my house because of the parade.  But, she said, I am coming!  I am determined to see the parade from your perfect parade perch.  So off she went for awhile, getting lost in the back hills of Escazu, then I saw that cute little blue Fiat!  With her characteristic determination, she managed to stop the whole parade so she could get to my house, and the participants had a smile on their faces as they stopped to let this woman through.  We had an absolutely delightful time (one of many) just doing a simple thing, like watching the ox-cart parade.  Ah! I know you are with me, Sandra, and yet I will wish for those sweet events again. You were like a kid, filled with that innocent joy.  I so loved that part of you!

Her birthday was always very special to her, perhaps because she knew that she was not going to have many. We talked about this too. I remember sitting in the cute little Fiat talking about her 33rd birthday.  She always loved what her family (the two families) did for her and with her on her birthday.  She waited to have an adventure with them to celebrate her special day.

Because I knew birthdays were so important to Sandra, when I heard she was very sick, I knew she would not die before her birthday; she was going to wait for that day.  When the phone call came a few days later, I was not surprised.  The memories of that day are what she went to the other side with!  What an incredible gift all of you who were there gave her!

Sandra, I love you! You are but at the end of one adventure and being welcomed by the next. As you are being welcomed, may the gods teach you the happiest of songs.  May the gods teach you to play even more.  May the gods show you how to even be more joyful.  Then, I invite you to come be with me, with us, to teach us all you have learned.  I am open to hear you.  I wait to be with you again.

Something has been on my refrigerator for a long time, which means my vision of it had faded, sort of disappeared.  However, as I was thinking about Sandra the other night, this poem from the great Indian poet, Tagore, jumped out at me - seems to be spoken by Sandra:

Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain
but the heart to conquer it.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved
but hope for the patience to win my freedom.
--Rabindranath Tagore

So many memories, and I will stop here.

Victoria Schwarz
May 15, 2008
Escazu, Costa Rica
Centro America


Email - 16 May 2008

Dear Hernan,

I'm glad you liked the letter.  Yes!  Of course, please put it in the webpage.

I want to share another miracle with you that just happened tonight. The miracle was the result of reading the quote next to Sandra's picture.

Very long story short---

I have a young client, a few years younger than Sandra, and I told her Sandra's story.  For months, perhaps even a year, I have been urging her to get out of her job, to stop driving from Cartago to Global Park (4 hours of driving a day) to move on because all the stress of working at a multi-national and driving has caused physical problems that should not exist in a young woman of her age.  She would hear what I said, but then be immobilized.  She was in fear of changing from the horrible known to the unknown.  However, just a few days ago she told her husband that she must find a new job.  And tonight, after reading the quote next to Sandra's picture, she said I AM changing jobs; life is too short.

I know that she will now move forward.  I could hear her resolve in her voice like never before.  I asked her what happened, why now after all these months.  She told me that she had been thinking about it more and more, but when early on in our class tonight she heard Sandra story and read the quote, she resolved that by October 1st, or sooner, she would have a job near her home, that she is passionate about, and where her work is respected.

This IS a miracle.



Email - 23 May 2008

I have to tell you something that happened last night.  I often have the feeling of spirits around when I do massage, and so it was not unusual for me to feel Sandra's spirit the other night.  What was interesting is that she must have been "coming in" very strongly because a client, who would not have normally noticed such things, said she felt a very strong energy that was very sweet and nurturing. She then went on to say that she felt the spirit was not visiting for her sake, but for me!  She was not disturbed or upset by the whole feeling--only felt good.

Thought I'd share that with you.  She's still "close in" and on the "radar"!

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