Eulogy - Ynez Arce

I am not convinced that I know of any words that can encompass all that I feel for and have experienced with Sandra. So instead today I want to share HER words with you. Sandra always kept a small Moleskine notebook with her, writing down her thoughts ranging from the mundane to the profound. The following are some of the things she wrote that are memorable, sweet, funny and amazing to me, just as she was.

In the Words of SMT:

• As I start this book, I wish for success to grow from what is composed inside - sincerity, brevity, attitude. All key in the endeavors of filling this book of scribbles, lists, notes to self, writing, reminders, new faces recorded, hopes and dreams.

• Hernan’s eyelashes are so pretty. I love his smile. And I like that he likes attention but is still independent.

• I have never been robbed other than when I was little and my next door neighbor stole my ring that Mamita gave me.

• Rather than living with the fear of the cancer returning day after day, why not live like a cancer free girl and then, if it returns, I deal with it and be surprised rather than expectant.

• Belly full of calzone, I look into the mountain of Iscazu (Is-ca-su) towering in front of me as I drive and I think to myself: Life is good and we are very lucky. We lead an extraordinary existence.

• I am living my dream. I am alive!

• Football is here! Life is swell. I wait all week for Sunday and get a little treat on Monday night.

• The greatest dualism we face is the split between who we are and who we think we ought to be. When we sit, we realize how unwilling we are to leave anything about ourselves alone. We turn our lives into one endless self improvement project.

• Once we begin to only observe our feelings, we can let go. When I got sick I did not spend a moment feeling sorry for myself. For one, it was a waste of energy that could be better used to heal. I also did not want to waste the precious time I had to live.

• The way you get meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to the community around you and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

Like the Buddists: have a little bird on your shoulder that asks:

• Is today the day?
• Am I ready?
• Am I doing all I need to do?
• Am I the person I want to be?

• Note to self: Learn more about Asia

• Never for a moment doubt the possibility of enlightenment

• Life is now

• Everything mutates in the stream of cause and effect. What has appeared is vividly there. When it has gone, it is gone. Moment after moment, it streams along. Beyond this appearing and going, there is essentially nothing else. When I walked along Mt Rose Trail toward the end, I wanted to capture everything I saw, felt, heard, tasted, smelled. But I realized I could not capture anything because once I tried, it was already gone. I missed it by capturing. So I decided just to be with all around me. There was no difference between the sky, rock, wind or me. We were all the same just in being.

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I am the luckiest person.

I won the lottery

I am so in love with Hernan

I am you

I am alive

I am all

All is me
____________________________________________________

That’s Sandra,

….that’s my girl.

There is no greater gift in life than to love and be loved.

Thank you, Sandra, for loving me and letting me love you,
so completely.