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In Her Memory
 

Notes to Sandra

>>If you'd like to send a note to Sandra, you can do so here.
>> You can also visit her Facebook page and message her there.
(Facebook comments may be re-published here as well)

Justin - October 16, 2013

I had always wondered what happened to Sandra, until I happened upon her tribute sites. I met Sandra in the Spring Semester 1993 at UC Berkeley. At the time she was the roommate of a friend of someone I was dating. When I met Sandra, I instantly knew that she was one of those rare souls that grace this earth with honesty, dignity, authenticity, and love. She was so real, it was incredible. Though we were just acquaintances, and we only knew each other briefly, we had some of the most intense conversations I have ever had in my life in that brief period. I met her again later when she had moved into her cottage. Although they were only a few short moments in a rich life, she made a lasting mark on me about what a person could be. Though I barely knew her, I will never forget her.

Your memory will always be a part of me, Sandra. Thank you.

Ilene Trujillo - October 12, 2010

"8 years ago today - wow - you married your precious Hernan - a match made in heaven - we love you Darling - ( Josine had mint chocolate chip ice cream yesterday in your honor - she believes that you are enjoying vanilla ice cream because all the clouds are white and look so yummy !!!! ) - Love you , sweet pea"

Hernan Moyano - October 12, 2010

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MAKS!! 8 Years ago today, You made me the happiest person on earth. Miss you. Love you. HJM

Ilene Trujillo - September 14, 2010

Hello my precious angel - just got back from Seabrook with the "core" and you were everywhere!!!!!!!! Love you - give yourself a big big hug - Mommy

John Silliphant - September 10, 2010

Miss you, Sandrita!

Beatriz PIza - August 26, 2010

In my thoughts.... AGAIN you taught me a lesson this week !

Keely Commins Enna - August 14, 2010

Missing you - thanks for all the great life lessons!

Dtonya Dean - August 1, 2010

My lovely sister...so happy that I experienced your light!!! I miss you and that beautiful smile! But enjoy your spirit still! lots of love!! Your friend....D

Loveleen Dhillon - July 31, 2010

Thinking of you. ♥ u.

Beatriz PIza - July 21, 2010

Always shining in my life.... TXS ! ;)

Susana Arce - July 14, 2010

Thinking about you this morning and every morning as I sit in your white robe drinking my tea.

Beatriz Piza - May 13, 2010

Second year in a row that a 'twin' of you does AMMA'S I AM Meditation.... it was like having you there, clearing that YOU HAVE NO TWINS, you are UNIQUE. But it was nice 'seeing' you for just a minute.

Keely Commins Enna - May 12, 2010

saw you in a sparrow.

Virginia Poe Christopher - May 6, 2010

thinking about you today. baby is set to show up any day now. feel free to give her/him a little nudge! xoxo va

Ilene Trujillo - May 6, 2010

Morning Broke this morning and - there you were!!!!!! I love you , Darling and miss you so much - ( Guess what I'm listening to at this moment - " Going to Carolina" a good James Taylor standby )

Beatriz Piza - May 6, 2010

Hi sweety... thank you for your protection, for your legacy, for your love, your encouragement that 2 years later still inspires us, keeps us MOVING ON, keeps us strong and faithful. I miss you!

Charis Simms - May 3, 2010

Happy Birthday Sandra! Sorry I missed the celebration! But I try to celebrate every day! ;-)

Mike Burns - May 3, 2010

Happy Birthday Sandra, miss you kid.

Shea Whitney Davis - May 3, 2010

Sandra...do they have Facebook wherever you are?! If they do, Happy Birthday, girl. I love you so much. And miss you to infinity. There are no words.

Hernan Moyano - May 3, 2010

A TRUE CELEBRATION OF LIFE!
Happy 36th Birthday Maks!

Ynez Arce - May 3, 2010

Mi amor! Mi vida! Mi corazon!
Miss you, love you, wish I could squeeze you but I always feel you near... Happy birthday, Makus!!!!

Aliana Sindram - May 3, 2010

Happy B-day Hudge HBSF!! I was singing for you this morning :) Estas son las mananitas :)

Blair Phillips - May 3, 2010

Happy birthday Sandra!! We are all smiling and know that you are smiling on us as well. Love you. BIG KISS

Ilene Trujillo - May 3, 2010

Sandrita, Happy Birthday our precious angel - miss you so much - Love you deeply - 36 years ago today at 4:30 pm you began your beautiufl extraordinary life - wow - you still amaze me - Happy Birthday, my precious daughter

Ilene Trujillo - May 3, 2010

Happy 36th Sandra- Gotta Live It Up!!!!!!! Love you mucho

Julie Gerk Hernandez - May 3, 2010

Happy Birthday, dear friend. Wishing you sunshine thoughts. Hope you're causing mischief wherever you are. I love you.

John Silliphant - May 3, 2010

Miss you, Sandra! Happy birthday :)

Patti Sink - May 3, 2010

Hey Sandra--Happy 36th Birthday again! Below is a collage of photos from the Nature Conservancy (www.nature.org) in celebration of you!

Patti Sink - May 3, 2010

Happy Birthday Sandra! I hope that you have a beautiful day celebrating the energies of nature and love that surrounds you. I'm attaching a couple of photos that resound your birthday statement two years ago "Gotta Live It Up!," and your love of nature in all its splendor and beauty, as depicted on the Nature Conservancy website (www.nature.org). I love you more than all the universe! Have a wonderfully fine 36th BIRTHDAY!

Hernan Moyano - May 3, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAKS!! Love you! HJM

Denise Stecconi - May 3, 2010

Happy b-day mi bicha!

Beatriz Piza - May 3, 2010

Happy RAINBOWS Day dear friend! Thought this morning that I'd love to see you thru a Rainbow, and by sunset, THERE IT WAS and in an amazing way, smiling at all of us: 36 CHEERS to YOU!!!!

Juan Carlos Garcia - May 3, 2010

Happy birthday, friend! Miss you.

Susana Arce - May 3, 2010

What a wonderful birthday for you! We celebrated with such joy and gratitude for having you in our lives. Besos!

DTonya Dean - May 3, 2010

Girl I know you have already started partying early!!!! So Happy Happy Birthday my sweet Friend!! I love you and miss you!

Hernan Moyano - May 2, 2010

MAKUS, tonight we're celebrating life .... LIVING IT UP!
You're here with us at all times. LOVE YOU and MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH!! HJM

Keely Commins Enna - April 13, 2010

Sometimes just in the smallest moments, I feel you there with me. Love you! You've been in my heart a lot lately. BIG KISS. kce.

Claudia Munoz-Najar - April 11, 2010

Miss you so much mi Sandrita linda maravillosa bella preciosa :-)

John Silliphant - April 5, 2010

Whazzup, dawg?

Hernan Moyano - April 4, 2010

Happy Easter Maks! LOVE YOU! HJM

DTonya Dean - March 13, 2010

Thanks Sandra! My little sister in spirit! I love you so much....and miss you wayyyyy more

Beatriz Piza - March 12, 2010

Heeeeeeeeeey: guess what? DISPLASIA + CYST FREE!! Thank you for holding my heart every step of the way...

Patti Sink - March 5, 2010

Hey Little Darlin'--you know, that's how your Nannie often addressed little notes to me, but of course, you that! :) I miss you Sweetheart, yet I feel you and know that you're with me each and every day! I hope that you, Xanene and Halali are throwing your heads back and flying around together--having THE BEST TIME! The sight of that in my minds eye makes me SMILE soooooo BIGLY. It's so much fun to experience your Facebook Wall; that Hernan is something else! :) I saw your Mother and Dad today; they're doing great and are headed for BR for some R&R this weekend. It's going to be a beautiful weekend--the snow has finally stop! I love you Sandra!

Hernan Moyano - March 5, 2010

Thinking of you!

DTonya Dean - February 28, 2010

Sandra!!!! I miss you!!!

Hernan Moyano - January 11, 2010

Maks... only you know. Miss you. HJM

Ilene Trujillo - January 4, 2010

Love you , Darling Sandra - be with Tzaneen tonite - she is spending the nite with Dr. Gillis - she is not feeling well - take care of her.

Loveleen Dhillon - January 4, 2010

♥ Miss You ♥

DTonya Dean - December 29, 2009

May your anticipation for a New Year and New Beginnings be fulfilled! I wish for you More Happiness, Joy, Peace and Prosperity! I wish for you every Good thing!

DTonya Dean - December 27, 2009

Hay Sandra!!! I know you were with all of us at Christmas! I love you girl!!!
Oh and don't forget what "we talked about" you know??? Can you get to work on guiding "Him" my way??? Love ya!

Hernan Moyano - December 23, 2009

MAKS, we're getting ready for Christmas. Lots of snow. Excitement. Devilish Ynez arrived today. Your mom and Patti are already in BR. The rest will join tomorrow. Can't wait to celebrate with you. We know you will be there. I miss you. I love you. HJM

Ilene Trujillo - 15 December 2009

Dearest Sandra, my Sweet Pea,

Wow!!!! It’s that time of year again – and you are so missed – yes, I know you are with us , I feel you alllllllllll the time but, boy, would I love to give you a giant hug and a huge kiss and tell you how much I love you, my precious angel  - okay, enough of that the tears are falling.

Dad, just left for the office and indeed he is in his Santa Claus mood ( when has Dad never been in his Santa Claus mood? What a wonderful person!!!!).  A little background, we all had decided to limit gift giving this year ( Hernan, your sweetheart, suggested helping a family in need ) – well Dad ask this morning “ Don’t you think that Nino Jesus could be out of that loop and give a gift?  I know what he is going to do – and I know you do too.  Well, so much for limits.

Sandra, I remember all our Christmases past – the Charlie Brown tree that we found in the woods and decorated with dime store ornaments ( I cried!! ) you , Ali and Dad thought it was the most beautiful tree ever and you know what – it really was.  Nanny and Pa’s house was always sooooooooooo much fun – we would laugh, laugh and laugh some more and Christmas unwrap would last the whole day and into the night and then we would end by singing around the piano “O Come All ye Faithful “ with Pa’s beautiful bass and Brenda’s beautiful alto – and then Patti and I would blast out the soprano but the best soprano “blaster” was you – wow, you had some “pipes”- of course there was nothing like Nanny’s piano playing – boy, do I miss that.  Yet, our future is bright – little Josine is so bright – she too, will carry the Trujillo tradition (I am glad to report ) – Christmas is the happiest time – excitement and anticipation.  We are missing you, my Darling – YOU ARE THE MOST DEFINITE BEST!!!!!!!

Love you up to the sky and back,

Mommy

Megan Lynch - 8 June 2009

Dear Sandra,

I never had the privilege of meeting you, but I can tell that I would have fallen in love with you- much like everyone else that ever met you. After reading your website, I sat here in tears... you wrote so beautifully, and described a life full of wonder, and surprises when most would have looked at life in distain. You were so full of courage, beauty and you empowered so many in the lives you touched. Two weeks ago, I ran in memory of you. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer 7 years ago when I was 16, and although she is a survivor, the cancer will always be a lingering reminder of the importance of truly living life. Which I can confidentially say you did, you LIVED. More than some people live in 80 years, and you loved more than some people ever have the courage to love. You were a true blessing, and an inspiration to the way I wish to live my life.

At the beginning of this year, I decided to run a marathon- and let me be upfront, I was not much of a runner. But with much optimism, I decided if my mom could battle cancer, then I could battle 26.2 miles. I joined Team in Training which raises money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and I sent out a letter to my friends and family. Hooman Bahrani almost immediately replied, with such encouragement and enthusiasm. He told me about you, and how beautiful of a life you lived, and he told me how much his brother misses you. So on May 31st, with your name written on my jersey- I overcame the biggest personal obstacle, and I did it because I pray we can find a cure for any cancer,  whether it be a blood cancer, breast cancer, or skin cancer.  I am hopeful. But you are the true hero. Thank you for being the reason I raised almost $4,000 for patient services, and hopefully a cure. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of your world, through your website and your own personal stories. But most of all, thank you for being the woman you were, I am so proud and honored to have run in memory of you.

Running for a Reason,
Megan Lynch 

Blair Phillips - 6 May 2009

Sandra’s Birthday Poem 2009

Sandra
I saw you in…

The celebration
Chairs on the lawn
A blue pillow

Your sister’s voice
Jeffrey’s toast with water
The mariachi band

Your mother’s story-telling laugh
The exclamation of a balloon popping
Ynez’s shoes with toes

Sandra
I saw you in…

Your father’s tears
Fabi’s blue teeth
Josine’s swingin’ n sickin’

The distance traveled 
The strength of friends and family
A group howl

The garden
Pattie’s expression of your wishes
Hernan’s breaking of rules

Sandra
I saw you in…

Your words
Gotta move on

We will.
But, you’re coming too.

Sofia Moyano - 06 May 2009

Cutes,

It's been a year now since you left and you are SO SO MUCH MISSED!!!!! Even though I was one of the ones who said we had to celebrate your birthday again in NC this year, I could not make it. It honestly torn me apart, I thought about it a lot, and finally I decided to stay and try to achieve the one dream I have had all my life, to conceive a baby with Arturo.

I was there with my mind and soul, and believe me, there were moments when I wanted to get into a plane and fly to Hotel T!!

The treatment started already on a special day, April 13, the day of our wedding anniversary. All went well and the moment I knew the result would be given to us on your first anniversary, I knew because of what you told me on your bed the day before you left, you were going to do something special up there, in order to conceive this baby!!
I know this baby is thanks to you!! THANK YOU SO MUCH CUTES, I adore you and miss you with all my heart! There are so many things I wish I could talk to you, which now I will, for I see you can hear me loud and clear.
You are my ANGEL in heaven!

I love you with all my heart,

Your sis, Soph

Beatriz - 06 May 2009

Happy Birthday Sandra!

I can’t believe one year ago we were all around you, howling at Life, at Love, in your honor. Its been one whole year without seeing your sweet face, but one year of feeling you every day in my heart. You’ve kept me company throughout so many events and crucial moments this last year, where your wisdom and the things you always told me, rose up to the occasion every single time. And I am sure I am not the only one, so I thank you for keeping your promise of letting us see you over and over again.

You visited me in my dreams and even meditations, and even if some say it was my imagination, trust me, my imagination would not come close to all I have lived with you over and over. So even though I miss your face, you have been here and in every butterfly, in every rainbow, in every heart you touched, in every goofy moment I’d wish you did not miss. You’ve been present in my life, and in Sofia’s life as well. She sees you more than me, and she talks to you often. She shares with you her prayers and finds courage feeling you right there beside her at important moments. You know she is not the only one!

I have been thinking a lot about last year, I see myself last May 6th, close to 6 am sipping a cup of coffee before leaving for the airport, and seeing a monarch butterfly gracefully on my hotel window. I knew right there it was you, I knew right then I’d be seeing you very often… and you kept your word, because you’ve smiled at us so many times. You’ve lifted my spirit up into the sky like you lifted Sofi’s Butterfly kite… and even though I miss you, you are here and that warms my soul.

I was not able to go to NC this time. Somehow it wasn’t meant to be! But you KNOW I have been there in my mind throughout the whole weekend; I was right there at the T celebrating your life, your 35th big ones, and the love you gave to us all.

So one thing is for sure: I will make it to the 36th, I PROMISE, just keep visiting me often.

I love you my sweet friend. See you in my dreams.... Bea

Sophia - 06 May 2009

Hi Sandra! I am sad because its already been a year, but I am happy because you’ve been taking care of us for a year as well. Thank you for each moment you listened and for helping me win the Speech contest. I hope you will keep on looking out for us all. With love, Sofi! (Arnoldo also sends his best wishes to you all!)

Hernan Moyano - 01 February 2009:

CHRISTMAS without you? …. I don’t think so!

As the Holiday season approached, I started getting worried about how hard it would be to spend Christmas without you. I think it was not just me. We were all worried about it. Nobody said anything, but you could tell everyone thought about Christmas without you.

As the days went by (of course, with some teary eyes), we realized that somehow, everything was going to be okay.

Your “famous” blueberry chocolate chip muffins were delivered, on time, to the Forsyth Cancer Center.

Ynez was picked up at the Charlotte Airport. She made sure I knew how she had to be picked up—with a stack of Coronas in the car! Ago prepared dinner for us that same night—we ended up eating around 2:00 AM. As you can imagine, heated conversations were part of a fun night at The T!

Ramin, Ynez and I had breakfast at Midtown Café, not once but twice. Western omelets were ordered.

Everything seemed to be on track for a beautiful Christmas—but you were not here—were you?

On December 24, we all drove up to MAKUS in Blowing Rock—your parents, Patti, Ali, David & Josine, Ynez and me. Cars were loaded with food and gifts—you know, Christmas—Trujillo style. I was the last one to arrive with Ynez. By the time I got there, the house looked spectacular. Your Mom and Patti had spent quite sometime decorating the tree. Patti made it look absolutely fantastic.

On Christmas Eve, we had a wonderful dinner all together, even with some rare and not-so-rare beef (the latter particularly in your honor). Throughout the dinner and evening, I think everyone was still concerned about how difficult and different it would be to spend Christmas day without you. As usual and in some way, you were involved in pretty much every conversation.

On Christmas day, Ynez and I went to mass in Boone at an absolutely beautiful church, atop the mountains. The day glistened with light, it was incredibly beautiful. You were smiling at us.

By the time we got back home from mass, I assumed that we would start opening gifts, . . . but Josine was asleep. An hour later, asleep. Another hour passed—still asleep. She finally woke up around 4:00 PM.

Gift opening started, with Josine first. You should have seen her. She is so adorable and was certainly the life of the party. Josine was super excited. Tons of pictures were taken (although I’m still looking for them). Ali came next—she got an awesome Nespresso coffee machine from David. Then came Ynez, who really brought some amazing and thoughtful gifts—followed by David, Hernan, Patti (somehow someone figured out that she likes to play golf), Ilene, and Jaime, who gave each of us an Abercrombie bag full of gifts. There were gift cards galore—lots of them. By the time we were finished opening gifts, 4 hours had passed. There were only a couple of times when tears appeared, when your mom opened a present from my parents—a beautiful picture frame with your name on it, and when your parents gave each of us framed self portraits of you and Ali. Other than those couple of times, we all did pretty well. You were right there with us at all times! Probably, not in the way that we would have liked you to be with us, but ALWAYS present—in EVERY conversation, smile, look, tear, thought, moment. . . Everywhere, at all times.

Maks, THANK YOU so much for being so close to us at all times, but most especially for spending a beautiful, loving Christmas with us.

LOVE YOU!

HJM

Ynez Arce - 16 October 2008:

Hey Chaabs,

Great talking to you the other night. Thanks for stopping by and checking in on me and getting the latest gossip. I don't appreciate you making fun of the delicious smoothie I was making, calling it "the most disgusting thing on the menu" but I forgive you because I LOVE YOU (it was muy tasty, by the way).

I've been laughing at life lately thinking about some of the ways that I seem to have taken on some of your physical and personal attributes. Some examples and other random tidbits:

Funky tummy. You had the MOST sensitive stomach. I used to have a stomach of iron and steel. Now, not so much. This one sucks.

Boundless energy. I always find the energy, stamina and wherewithal to whoosh around life in a way that somehow feels different than before. I am elated and joyous about living all of the time.

Southern accent. Shea makes fun of me for this but it's holding strong! It gets much worse when I drink. People often think I'm from Texas or something. That's probably because we're in a bar and they're drunk and they can't tell the difference between a southern belle and a rodeo clown.

Sleeping. "No stone left unturned" is not as true as it used to be. I don't sleep that that rolling log like I used to. I blame the boundless energy. I find it hard to go to sleep at a reasonable hour because I so excited for what that next day has in store. I still hit the snooze button several times in the morning but as long as you're not there to be annoyed about it, it's all good.

Green thumb. Somehow, someway I've kept the plants in the garden you made me in my birthday last year alive! (Ok, 1 died but that was not my fault!) They are thriving with water and fertilizer and sometimes I blow them kissies. They like that.

More than these physical things, I realize how similar we are at the core - people love and are attracted to us for many of the same reasons and I feel like, perceiving the absence of some of the very special things you brought to this world, I have learned to make those things shine brighter in myself. I was surprised the other day thinking about how similar we are and I understood this in a way that I hadn't before.  Maakus, it's so awesome -  I can make my own light and I can shine and I know you have something to do with that...

You will be very excited to know that I went to the SF Bluegrass Festival this year. I remember when you went last year with Noah and told me how amazing it was and that it would inspire me to practice my banjo playing. I have been plucking away some. I serenaded John recently. Then I cried and said life was not as much fun without you. Anyway, I got a bumper sticker at the Festival that says "Pick Banjos, Not Fights." Once the election is over in a few short weeks, I'll replace my "Barack O'Clock, It's Time for Change" with the banjo one and have a hoedown.

I stumbled upon a voice mail from you a while back on my work line. It went a little like this: "Hey Chaabs, I'm in Miami. We're really delayed but it's okay 'cause I'm drinking a beer! Love you!" Hearing your voice was unexpected but exciting. It seems so possible that you are waiting for a flight the "Universe Airport" (UAO) drinking a beer and wondering what's next....

Love you Shnaaks!
PilarPants

Hernan Moyano - 12 October 2008:

Maks, how are you? How's life treating you up there? Is it fun to be able to spy on all of us?

Although you probably know the story (since you're involved) I want to give you our perspective and share it with your clan.

People (friends, family, strangers) have been telling me all this time about how they see you in different forms, actions, and situations. They talk to you. They dream with you.

You know me. I'm not very perceptive (although you'd be surprised about how much I have improved – and by the way, I'm being "greener" than ever). You also know I never remember my dreams, so I would not know whether I dreamt with you or not. Anyways, I've always been super excited to hear these stories, but at the same time wondering how couldn't I experience something like this (till about 2 weeks ago).

I was in San Jose at Kerst's apartment. I was in Niels' room with him and Stan. Niels and I were on his computer and Stan was just playing around. All of a sudden Stan says "look at the rainbow". We turn around and the rainbow was almost gone. You could barely see it.

So I tell Stan: "Stan, you know what was that? That was Sandra smiling at you" He looked up in amazement. His eyes wide opened. I turned around and asked Niels if he had one of the stamps with your picture that we printed for your memorial. The stamps, which as you can imagine are absolutely beautiful, have a phrase of Thich Nhat Hanh that says:

"Tomorrow I will continue to be. But you will have to be very attentive to see me. I will be a flower, or a leaf. I will be in these forms and I will say hello to you. If you are attentive enough, you will recognize me, and may greet me. I will be very happy"

So I briefly explained Stan what this meant. He understood and all excited said: "So that was Sandra". We kept working on the computer (big project with Niels – you would have loved it). A minute later, Stan says: "Hernan, look at Sandra" We turn around and we see the "most beautiful" rainbow I have ever seen in my life. The colors are bright, perfectly symmetrical, just gorgeous. We stayed there staring at this beautiful rainbow. I got teary eyes. Stan and Niels noticed that and kept looking at the rainbow with admiration and respect. After a couple of minutes Niels and I go back to the computer. Literally 2 seconds later Stan says the rainbow is gone. We turn around, and in fact, the rainbow (your beautiful smile) was gone.

We knew then and I know now, that was YOU. Thank you for such a lovely smile and for letting us know that you're happy and looking over us. Now I understand the excitement people go through while experiencing these wonderful demonstrations of love that you give us each day.

We then shared the story with Kerst, Germaine and Bente. The only thing I regret is that Bente was not with us when you offered us that incredible smile. So, please, when you get a chance say hello to her the same way you did with us. She loves you and thinks about you a lot. They all miss you so much.

Maks, thank you so much for your infinite love. I miss you tons!
Love you!
HJM

Aliana Sindram - 8 October 2008

What's up Hudge?
It's such dreary day today! Fall is falling upon us; on one hand, nice - on the other hand, mean that the daylight get a little shorter each day. I'm really missing you and find myself thinking about you EVERYDAY, especially at the strangest times - which is great! I LOVE thinking about you and remembering something, no matter how trite, about us, about you -  But annoyingly, I can't just share it with any and everybody all the time. It's not always the appropriate moment to say what you're thinking and can be a bit of a “moment killer,” if you know what I mean!

Josine, by the way, found a little wooden troll statue in the house the other day. Mom and dad had bought one for both you and me on an excursion somewhere (matching trolls - you know, how they like to be fair and of course, are always thinking of us :) She was pointing to it, calling it "Tia." I had to laugh, thinking you did actually kind of look like him and certainly were as mischief and defiant as I imagined this little troll may have acted had he not been made simply of wood…

I miss miss miss you and love you with all my heart!
Hudge

D'Tonya Dean - 6 September 2008:

Hey Sandra

Well this week has been very hard for me. I have been battling depression and anxiety...
Sandra I am having trouble dealing...even as I write this to you I feel like a coward. I haven't been doing really well.
But then my mind thinks on you and your life and how I am to live in the moment...laugh....enjoy each and every day..

Well today i feel like it's very far from my reach.
How did you do it? With all that you endured???
You still had a smile on your face. You still looked life right in the eye and lived it
in spite of everything
All of it....."the odds" stacked against you. And I feel like a coward.
I am not being the strong one that I know I can be Sandra. This life is really hard.

I want to be happy! Live a full life...just like you Sandra
I know it is out here for me
I just have a hard time grasping it today!
This is a very hard day for me. I am very sad.

I need your help now!

Love you

Christine Desvergers - 21 August 2008

Sandra,

Thank you for being one of my angels. I can’t tell you how many times you helped me get through. You were the only one at times who understood, completely. No matter what, you always sent words of encouragement and hope, always, even in your darkest days. You’ll never know how much your life touched mine; you truly were a God send all through my transplant and treatment. I miss you terribly, SMT and I am sending you one last BIG HUG! I pray one day I can be the hope to someone else, that you were to me! You were MY person!! NED forever and ever!

Love Always, Christine

D'Tonya Dean - 24 July 2008:

Hey Girl

It's me again D'Tonya. Your sister in the spirit from PHOA! Well you had the last word again didn't you??

You had your family come by today and visit and you sent me the Coach bag!!!!!!!!!
I was completely floored and I know you know the tears flowed!! I was so honored that you thought of me!

Your "cutie patootie" (husband) lol....... and your wonderful mother are the very best girl!!!!

Thank you so very much for the Coach bag! Of course I emptied all my junk out of my old bag and started using my new Coach bag right away!!!

I thought at first "i am not going to use this bag...I am going to put it away and only use it when I am going somewhere special"

But then I thought......"am I crazy??????????"
You would want me to use it right away!!! So girl i am rocking that Coach bag okay???????
LOL

Sandra I love you so much. And I miss your face in the space.......
Stick with me as you have been okay? I need your spirit!

Kisses and I will chat with you later.......Lotsa Love!!!!

Tonya Dean - 14 July 2008:

I just had the most beautiful experience this morning at work Sandra! I have to tell you I have had some trying times the past few weeks.....trying but not defeating. When I got the link to your uplifting page at first I became sad....then after I began reading more and more and looking at the beautiful pictures of your life I realized that I had no reason to be sad at all!

I have been so down lately...i really wished that I could see things the way you did. But let me tell you in your honor I am going to start from this day forward! I believe that is the best way to honor your beautiful memory!

I want to live what life I have left just like you did Sandra!

I want to laugh...love.....and be loved. Do you remember when I told you about my sister and my niece in London? Well I still haven't gotten that solved....but I am working on it. I hope I get to finally see them all soon one day

I'll be in touch.........oh and can u kinda stick by me for awhile???????? I really need you!!!

Your friend...........

Aliana Sindram - 11 July 2008:

Sandra, I really really really miss you! As you know, every morning I have a driving ritual that brings me to work. It entails a Luna bar (thank you for introducing these into my snack repertoire), a cold, fresh, thirst-quenching Diet Coke (ahh! boy), and listening to music loudly. Over the last 2 months, something has changed my morning drive. I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes I look to my right and there you are, sitting next to me in my fabulous 4Runner passenger seat! Am I having a visual hallucination or is this really you? You look over at me, smile really big, and then stare back at the horizon and sing. This best part of it is your smile! You're looking beautiful. Thanks for joining me on some of these mornings. It’s early, and you know me, I’m certainly not a morning person. Are you waiting as anxiously as I am for the mile marker to hit 200,000? I like to think you are enjoying the new Coldplay album as much as I am (several good Gwyneth rock-out moments). Anyway, we miss you more than you can imagine. The anguish is painful, but life somehow goes on. Even after you’re physically gone, you’re still there with me, putting me in a better mood and keeping my spirits up to take on the day. I love you! Als.

Hernan Moyano - 30 June 2008:

Maks,

How are you? We miss you TERRIBLY, but you’ll be happy to know we’re doing well overall. I’m sure you’re helping us from up there. Sometimes it’s hard (ok, VERY HARD) but then we feel better. It makes us happy to know you’re well and living life to its fullest up in Heaven.

Lately I’ve been involved in situations where I would ask myself “What would Sandra do in this case?” And following what I know your answer would be, I have to admit I’ve been feeling very good (almost like I’m getting a “guaranteed” ticket to Heaven). Hey, I’m being a very nice human being (helping people at airports, being somehow “green”, trying my very best to be a little bit more patient - with relative success though). It’s not that easy to be you.

Anyways, we’re planning the trip to the Redwoods. Everybody is pretty excited about it. We’ll have a blast and we know you will be there with us at your favorite place on Earth.

I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH! MISS YOU!

HJM

Blair Phillips - 28 June 2008:

Sandra, I read your manifesto. And you were my 500th!! I totally, completely get it. Thank you so much for spreading the love and your wisdom. Your life has made an immeasurable impact on the way I live every moment. And you will be with me in each of these moments (p.s. you'll even be in China!!) until we meet again. BIG KISS!

Blair Phillips - 20 May 2008:

Sandra, today I took a tram up to one of the highest peaks in Southern California and went hiking. You were in my thoughts the entire time as I know how much you enjoyed hiking and California. Each time I feel a cool breeze I know you are there and I say hello to you.

Sofia Brenes - 6 May 2008:

From Beatriz (Sofia's mom): “Sofia wrote this note on May 6, 2008. She was very sad that day and did not want to go to her ballet class. She did not show me this note until yesterday (May 14, 2008). She talks about a North Carolina t-shirt that I bought her thinking about Sandra because it has a butterfly on it”

See Sofia's handwritten note

 

 
 
Sandra's Clan Photos Videos Happy Ending In Her Memory